Oct 22 2009
Outside World.
My puppy is hiding in our window this morning. Our couch sits against a wall not one foot below a window, and for my puppy it is her favorite place. She crawls up into the blinds and lays on the windowsil watching people, cars, and animals. She presses her little nose to the glass, and will sometimes bark and whine because she wants to go out and play. This never would have started occuring had we not stayed with my in-laws and given her a taste of a yard and the outside world with no leash.
So while this might seem a little silly to other people, I ended up comparng how I view the world to my puppy’s view. Every day I sit at a window, waiting and watching. I’ve always been an observer. I love watching people’s behaviors and how they interact. Lately I have been wanting to be involved. Now it could be from sitting in an apartment with only a puppy for a companion for a few months. While I know she loves me, she’s not fantastic for conversation. The more I sit on the inside of this window, the more I want to run out and get to know people. This is interesting for me, because I have never been motivated to do anything socially. I am more than happy to sit at home and read, or flip through channels on TV. In high school I hardly ever did anything after school, totally content to spend hours in my room. Since moving, I sit outside almost every day for an hour. I gladly take my neighbor her mail, I searched out a book club to join where I knew not one person. I have invited several people over to my house. I coerce my husband into leaving the house, when it was the other way around.
Maybe it’s from the need for my social skills not to die. I’ve been reading The River Why with my husband. So far we’re only to the part where the main character becomes a hermit, and loses all ability to function socially when his family comes. He speaks in one word bursts, he has this giant tangled beard, and his best friend is his fishing pole which he has named Rodney. I don’t want to be a hermit. I love talking and doing things. I like meeting new people, though I still have issues with talking to people I don’t know on the telephone. I’m not afraid of people behind counters anymore, and can actually hold conversations and not freak out. In fact, yesterday I went out looking for that. I went to the grocery store of my own accord. Sadly the checker wasn’t all that friendly, but a hello was all I needed. So while I don’t think I can grow a beard, which is a must if you are to become a hermit, I don’t want to be one anymore. It’s interesting how one instance can change your life but I think I will still end up talking aloud to my dog anyway.
