complainingjane

I love when my husband leaves. I know to some people that must sound terrible and like I don’t love him as much as I should, but really that’s just how our relationship works.

We met in high school, and were going to different schools. We met up once a week, whether on weekends or just some night after school and all our activities, to talk and spend time together. But we weren’t one of those couples that walks down the halls at school together, making out or giving each other embarrassingly cheesy looks. After I graduated, I went away to school 12 hours away and only saw him once every few months or so when I would come home to visit, and then finally for the summer. He left shortly after he graduated to start boot camp, and came home and proposed. It worked out that we couldn’t have the wedding in three, four, or five months, so it was ether do it soon, or wait six months. We opted for the first. The wedding was six weeks after we had been engaged. I have heard that it’s good to be engaged for at least 6 months, but my then fiancee and I didn’t see each other from the day we were engaged, to the day before we got married. I guess I left out the weekend his parents took all of his furniture to him. So I saw him for 2 days in that 6 week span. We have now been married 2 years.

My husband’s career is in the military and his job requires him to be gone quite a bit, and in our first station, I got used to this. I actually liked having some time to myself and clean up, maybe watch some TV, do whatever crafts I wanted and make a mess, and my time was my own. I loved the freedom I got when my husband went to work, or when his boat was gone for days at a time. He was gone just long enough that I would miss him, and he’d come home. He’d be home long enough for me to get sick of him, and then he’d leave again. It was perfect!

Now, the boat he’s on makes lots of day trips. So I have to get my alone time from five in the morning to two.  It’s just not the same. I was trying to explain this to someone the other day. That I wanted my husband gone and that I was starting to get sick of him. They replied that if I liked having him gone, why did I marry him? I then had to explain that I love my husband dearly, but sometimes I just need a little space and time to be independent. I’ve grown very fond of my alone time, and I almost get crabby when he is home for long stretches of time. I’m not sure that any other non-military wife could really understand, unless in the recent economy, your spouse has a job that’s a little further away and only comes home for weekends. I knew what type of lifestyle I was getting myself into when I married a military man, and I actually like it.

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